This shitty feeling overstayed. The month is about to end a few days from now, and this feeling won’t ever let me go. I messed up. I failed. I feel like crap. I feel stupid. Mixed emotions I myself find it hard to explain until I got to the point that I asked myself, “Am I here to fail over and over again?” I want to cry just to ease this unwanted feeling, I’ve tried my hardest but not a single tear fell. I don’t want to confide to anyone because they will never understand.
Maybe I’m in the wrong crowd. Maybe I’m just weak. Or maybe, it’s time to fight back. Get lost or shut the world out. Will they notice? Will they even care? Will anyone ask why and comfort me instead of ranting at me?
I’m sad. I’m giving up. I’m frustrated and devastated. I don’t know what to do, where to go, who to talk to anymore.
Then I uttered this. “I can’t take it any longer. Will you be mad if I took away my life? It’s hard – everything’s hard. I don’t know if I can start all over again. Don’t prolong my agony. Take me now or I’ll take it myself.”