We all have stories to tell. These are mine – the twisted words of life.


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I don’t know the exact reason why I’m here. Typing words that doesn’t really mean a thing. Unnecessary thoughts have been clouding my mind. And they still are. Cutting ties, I hate it the most. Forgetting, I find it hard to do. Giving up, I don’t even know what that means. I like to think that this is just a phase. I want to really change the pace. But I can’t. There’s no one talk to that would understand. They’ll contradict every words and thoughts that I have. So what’s the point of telling? I don’t really ask for help – I was never taught to seek help. But can this be an exemption? I’m shouting, but no one can hear. I’m sobbing but it feels like I’m crying. I’m slowly drowning. I’m out of breath. I feel like dying. Save me from this agony. Release me from this pain. Take me away from this hell.


Written by RinalynFaye

November 17, 2017 at 2:19 am

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What to do now?

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Moments like this, I can’t help but question my existence, my worth and value as a person. 

What’s my purpose? Is there any? 
Haven’t I proven myself yet to the people around me? 

Why am I hurting? Is there really a way to healing?

Which path will I take?

Why am I still in pain? 

When will this end?

To whom will I talk to?

Would they care enough to listen?

Will they understand?

Am I just prolonging my agony?

Or is this just a product of my hallucinations?

Oh wait, Am I hallucinating?

Or is this really happening?

Is this even real?

Or am I having a nightmare?

This pain is just too much.

How can I stop this?

For how long can I stop breathing?

A minute? Or maybe less?

Would that even help?

Or it’ll just get worst?

Written by RinalynFaye

October 22, 2017 at 12:53 am

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Each and everyday.

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Demons have this habit of visiting me every night. Sleeping have been hard. I can see them in my sleep that keeps me up until sunrise. The morning comes with endless thoughts I find it hard to shoo away. I don’t know if my mind is playing games with me or is it reality hitting me. The whole day, my mind is preoccupied. The travel time from work to home, it’s still the same. 

I got scared of sleeping. I’d rather deprive myself of sleep than meet those demons once again. These demons are so clingy. They don’t want to leave me.

Sometimes, I wanna be with them. Sometimes, not. Is it really the demons doings? Or am I a demon myself?

Written by RinalynFaye

October 20, 2017 at 9:20 pm

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Keep in mind that you will never be enough. It’s up to them to accept what you were, what you are and what you will be. They’ll stay in whatever way possible.

Written by RinalynFaye

September 18, 2017 at 7:36 pm

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It was August when we met.

And it’s awkward how it went.

I never thought it’ll happen again.

Then it became a weekly fling.

Until we’re officially a thing.
I moved out, you’re there.

I refuse the idea of living together.

Things weren’t always clear.

It happened in our first year.

And yet, we’re still here.
On to our second,

We’re doing fine as I reckon.

The road we’re taking is getting rough,

It’s a struggle to patch things up.

Good thing, we have each others back. 
Time pass by so quickly.

Still, I’m so clingy.

You make me feel a little tingly.

We love each other so dearly. 

Though I’m always being mushy.
As I count the days on our 2nd year.

I promise to always hold you near.

We’ll face together our fears.

Please know that I’m sincere,

When I say I love you dear.

Written by RinalynFaye

August 24, 2017 at 2:17 am

My First Spring Experience

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It was Summer (PH time) when I left the country. 4th of May 2017 via China Southern Airlines bound to Guangzhou, China then my destination – Los Angeles, California. 

That was the longest flight I’ve been to. Been awake for 19hrs the entire flight. The nervousness fade the moment I step out of the airport and greet my Aunt who fetched me. Then reality sinks in, I’m here! Kim K and I are breathing the same polluted air. (HAHAHA) 

Welcome to United States of America!

I went there to attend my cousin; my sister I never had; my frenemy’s (is there really such a term? Hahaha) graduation which happened on the 6th of May.

For 7 years and 7 months of talking through Viber, Messenger, Instagram and whatever means of communications this techy world now have, we finally got to see each other AGAIN. 🤜🏻🤛🏻

I stayed there for over a month so might as well enjoy every moment. Yay? I got a chance to visit 4 states. (Thank God, school’s over she have all the time to take me to places.) 

1st state – CALIFORNIA!

@ Santa Monica Pier

@Downtown LA

@Universal Studios, Hollywood

@Balboa Park, San Diego 

@Old Town, San Diego

@USS Midway Museum, San Diego

@Coronado, California

@Sunset Cliffs Natural Park, San Diego

@Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills

@LACMA (Been dreaming to see this! It happened everyone! It really did!!)

@Hollywood Blvd

@Disneyland, Hollywood

Next state, NEVADA!!

@Las Vegas, NV

@Seven Magic Mountains, NV

@The Strip

@Fremont (We tried their Slotzilla!!!)

@Valley of Fire State Park

Third state, ARIZONA

@Hoover Dam

Been to 2 states at the same time. Arizona and Nevada! Different time zones!!! Cool right? 

@Horse Shoe Bend, Arizona

@Antelope Canyon, Arizona

Remember those wallpapers at your Microsoft computers? Yes yes yes! Amazing!

Last state, UTAH

@Zion National Park, UT

The only place I got to see in this beautiful state. 

I can’t post all the pictures and videos  I took for a month long stay but as you can see, It was FUN and EXPENSIVE at the same time. Hahaha.

Till my next #happydaysofrinalynfaye 

Written by RinalynFaye

August 24, 2017 at 2:11 am

I saw it coming but I didn’t care

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Few months ago, I had this gut feeling that something isn’t right. I erased the facts that proves it is. Then it came – right straight to my face. The moment it did, I couragely took a halt on everything. It sucks to know the truth. Isn’t? But I know what to do. The heart and mind didn’t even argue. Words were bursting with feelings – unwanted feelings, feelings I buried 6feet under. 
I’m not mad, angry or even furious. I guess I deserve it but somehow it doesn’t even feel right. 
PS. Karma has a way of getting back at you. 

Written by RinalynFaye

April 23, 2017 at 12:00 pm

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